T. Corpuz Writes

I yearn for brotherhood. For a bond that transcends space and time. A connection buried so deep within my bones that I could not live without it. I’m desperate to desire the need to put someone else’s life ahead of my own. To lay down and let them cross the street over my insignificant back. Surely, there’s someone out there who wants to be my friend.

I want to share my soul on the battlefield of life, with someone who is grateful to choose to share theirs with me. A comrade to laugh, and to love, and to cry with, and to deceive – but never betray. Someone to push and to pull me in directions I am unwilling to go. I am ready to receive kinship of the highest order, but am equally unable to take the first step toward its achievement. Surely, I want to call someone friend.

Will someday, someone hear the truth in my heart? The earnestness in my lungs? The sincerity in my blood? The love that courses through my marrow?

Too tired to try and yet too restless to stop looking. I see endless potential in a world that doesn’t belong to me, and meaningless chatter in the one that does. It’s been so long since I stepped outside and basked in the glorious rays of a never ending sun. An eternity since I camped in the bonded forests of love that a boy can only share with his fellow man. Not to lust or desire; but to laugh and to cry.

There is an eternally open seat at my table. Waiting. Wanting you. Please, my friend. Come sit beside me. Let us dine and celebrate our greatest victories. Memories of a home that resurrects every time we clink our glasses in toast of a life fully lived. Our children will be children, together, as we never had the chance. For we are men that have built our lives to intertwine and intersect at the moments of our greatest joys and deepest sadness. But I can’t start without you.

I will wait for you as long as I have to. But please don’t make me experience whats worth experiencing with an empty shoulder. I have true joy without you. My life will continue on in the way it is meant, but, it won’t be whole until you’re home. Crashing on my couch after one too many. Splitting rounds at the usual spot. Going ’round, and ’round, and ’round this earth many times over until we are old and grey. Our shriveled bodies deformed past the point of recognition and yet, we see the unmistakable scars of battles fought side by side.

This is what awaits us. But for now you remain imaginary. A figment of my assumptions of what true brotherhood looks like. I yearn to feel your embrace. I would forge you from the sea foam of my heart if I could, but I cannot, and so I wait. I beg you to hurry. Someone, anyone, be my friend.