How could he have left me? He who is supposed to love, and support, and guide me. Across rivers and through valleys, now and forever, until his dying breath. I hadn’t a clue just how treacherous he could be. No plot or scheme in his actions, but malice – unintended – but just the same.
I thought him to be life’s greatest navigator, and perhaps that he remains; although his life’s work says otherwise. A fool who sold me gold that turned out to be the shiny rubble of a life foolishly lived – packaged so sweetly, so delicately, so deliberately.
Even still, I yearn to hear the ways I’ve disappointed him, for that means he once had greater expectations for me. Now I’m left to reminisce in the ways I have let him down. Does he count the ways? Or perhaps I am gone near completely from his memory. The failson who never was, and never could be, worth his time.
A heroes hero – a mans man. With stories to light up any room, how could I not be enthralled. I stood no chance but to worship the ground he walked on. He was my religion, and I his progeny. But now that familial tether has been severed with utter disregard and disdain for who I’ve come to be. For what I’ve come to need.
But what of the pieces he left me in? Surely it’s not too complex a puzzle for such a genius man. And so the intent is clear. Grind me to dust and let the ceiling fan do its work. Slowly, surely, I’ll be blown into the ether. Never to be a bother ever again. For he knows I will sit here and wait for him to change his mind.
Like an abandoned dog waiting for his master to return, I remain right where I always have been. Sitting at his broken alter, right where I always will be. Knowing that he will never return to me, and knowing that I will never be complete without him.
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